Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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