called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
