Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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