everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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