listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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