Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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