He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
