He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
