operation harelip BJ is a go
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
