guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The power of my boobs compel you
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize