Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My hand turned me down
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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