hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
