hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
