I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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