also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
bring money and cleavage
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
