I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
