no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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