I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
