she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
