dude i'm inner monologue high
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
