My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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