Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
