Porn is love you can see.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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