Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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