YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
