i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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