You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
