did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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