I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
