girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
