jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize