I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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