Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
