To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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