She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
