you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
