I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Porn is love you can see.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
