Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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