I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
