McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
