The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
