Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
