this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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