i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
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