Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
