Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Operation Purity has been aborted
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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