Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
