So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
