OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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