Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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