He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
