careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
