Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Never joke about your clitoris.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
