There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
