New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize