I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
